“This is the story of my life”

Liberation.

Liberation from suffering

I was born on  the 30th of July 1987 in Kinshasa, the capital of the Democratic Republic of Congo.  I have always really liked the fact my zodiac sign is Leo.  What do they say about Leo’s – ‘Leos tend to be dignified and strong.’  Ummm.  The thought has always inspired me. Since I was 14 years old I have known I am gay.  My friends called me ‘pede’ (queer), because I have always preferred to play with girls rather than boys.  I was very effeminate and attractive.  My uncle, whose name was also Junior, and my old brother Olivier’s friends all raped me several times.  Why did they choose to rape me?  It pleased them to do so; they felt excited and powerful.  They knew it was wrong, as they raped me again and again. 

Acceptance and Coming Out

When I was 16 years old I experienced much stress and frustration, because I was hiding my sexual orientation.  Then one day I listened to Radio Canada International, which is based in Montreal.  I began to discuss my life and my sexuality with Stephen Parent, who was a journalist on Radio Canada International.  Stephen assured me that being gay is not something bad or unnatural.  He urged me not to give up hope or the desire to live. Stephen put my in touch with someone called Alexis Musanganya at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Association - ARC EN CIEL D AFRIQUE, which is based in Montreal.   Together they helped me to come to terms with who I am, and to find the courage to begin to share my ‘secret’ with those around me. 

I began by attending bars and visiting gay websites.  I even subscribed to www.gayafrique.com to find a soul mate. I was so young and inexperienced, and so far away from Canada.  Life in the Democratic Republic of Congo, in Kinshasa, in my neighbourhood among my friends, inside my home among my family – was so incredibly hurtful, as a direct result of my sexuality.  I am gay and being gay in the Democratic Republic of Congo is not something anyone would choose to be at this moment in time, because being gay is considered completely unacceptable – sinful even. My parents were divorced and both remarried when I was young.  I lived with my mother until she and my step-father, a conservative pastor, learnt that I was gay.  My mother kicked me out of the home.  They wanted nothing to do with me.  I caused them embarrassment and shame.  They broke my heart.  I was sixteen years old and yearned for the support and acceptance of my family.  I longed for someone to love me and to guide me.  To make me feel safe when all around me there was so much unkindness towards people who are gay.

So what did I do then?  Luckily the Leo in me rose to the occasion and I contacted Amnesty International.  They in turn connected me up with Francoise Mukuky, who was working with the feminist association Si Jeunesse Savait in Kinshasa.  But things did not work out for me in Kinshasa, so after a while I moved to the Province of Bandundu to live with my father and to study Law at the University. During this period I was introduced to Facebook, by the late George Kanuma.  From a small town in the Democratic of Congo my world was opened up through Facebook.  People shared their experiences and knowledge.  I began to feel not so alone. I met Dennis Hambridge on Facebook and together we created a group called ARC EN CIE RDCONGO.  This was established to raise awareness about the underground LGBT community within my country.  I also joined Gay Activist Alliance International (GAAI).  I was becoming involved, motivated and more knowledgeable.

South Africa

I wish I could have stayed to finish my Law Degree.  I wish I could have stayed in my beloved country. But my life was under threat everyday whilst I was at University.  No-one wanted to publicly support me and many expressed their fears and hatred by hurting and abusing me.  I began to fear for my life – and so doing watched my dream of becoming a lawyer slip away. Today I am twenty-two years old and living in Cape Town, South Africa.  Three courageous friends, Dennis Hambridge, Henk Bongers and Maik Diekmannsheike helped me to leave and make my way to South Africa.  I left the Democratic Republic of Congo, my country, with a heavy heart and so much hope for a new future. South Africa is not an easily place to live as a young gay person, who would like to complete a Law Degree.  South Africa is not an easy place to live when you have no family or home or money. 

I am still on my journey to find a place of safety and peace of mind.  Perhaps it is tomorrow that people will wake up around me and say “Good Morning Junior,” and that I shall not have to fear being raped, or hearing hurtful descriptive phrases, as a direct result of my sexuality.

Thank you for listening to my story.  I am a real person with real feelings and real dreams.  I am a Leo.  I also happen to be gay.

**Junior Mayema is a gay Congolese residing in South Africa